For everyone person who secretly lives in pain

At the end of the day
all you have is yourself
nothing can change that
no amount of friends
or laughter or fun
can change the fact that
you will
end up crying alone in the darkness of 2am
with no one around you to wipe those tears away
all you have is yourself
in the cold of the night
you and your thoughts
drowning
you try to save yourself from yourself
But
in the end
all you have is yourself;
you realize that's enough.

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I am in the point of my life where everything seems to be going against me. Everything is wrong. From my hair to school , everything seems to be going against me. And I don't know what to do. Currently my room is a mess. But my life is bigger mess than that. I can clean my room, make it top-notch, but how do I un-mess my life. There's a huge pile of bullshit racked up somewhere because of the decisions I've made. I am so under all this I don't even know what to do anymore. I keep hoping everything's gonna be fine. That somehow the universe will untangle my tangled life. But the universe has bigger problems than me I guess. Or it is just plain tired doing all the work after the big bang explosion and it doesn't have time to sort out the explosions in my life. Maybe I should take the lead here, but I have no clue where to begin with. I just feel lost.Drifting in and out of nowhere and everywhere is no fun. I think I am lost. Truly and utterly lost in this chaotic world. I just keep hoping for eveyrhing to make sense someday.

I see you

I see you.
You sitting there with a smile on your face. Laughing with your friends. With your perfect hair and perfect dress and perfect everything. Not a care in the world as you dance to your favourite song and shout for more drinks. You seem to have it all right.

But I also see the sadness behind your smile. How everyday seems like a war with yourself. I see the sadness you hide from everyone. How you want to start over again. I see your pain and how you try to hold back your tears and force a smile. I see how hard it gets to fake everyday. I see you searching for a distraction. Something to take your mind away from all of these sufferings. I see you getting tired by everything falling apart everytime. I hurt for you.

But I want to tell you it gets better. I know everyday seems like a struggle and each time it only seems to get worse but you come out as a fighter. You are so much stronger than you think are. You just have to keep believing. You are needed in this world even if you think you aren't.